Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
