pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
