What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
