dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
