Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
