It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she peed on how many people?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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