uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
