so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
