I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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