Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
