I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
