apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
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Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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