well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
