Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
