Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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