Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
