i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
