I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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