You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize