And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
