im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
