: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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