good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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