how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
