Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
