Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Randomize
