you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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