No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
