Bisexual people are plain selfish.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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