The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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