Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
