He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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