Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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