Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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