woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
