Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
