My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
