So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
