i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
