Do you still have your period?
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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