can u get pink eye on your cock?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
