I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
