so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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