dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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