just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
