He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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