Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
