yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
