LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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