Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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