Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
