sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
