is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Randomize
