If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
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