thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
