I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
