im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Randomize
