He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
