I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
